How to Go From Failed Goal to Goal Crusher
February 8, 2023 - Shauna Jurczak
February. I love this time of year. First, it’s my birthday month. Second, it’s that time when the romance of New Year’s resolutions start to die down. Why is that a good thing? Because it’s also provides a great opportunity to check in with yourself, giving you new moments to reflect, refresh and set better more meaningful goals.
More important (because we all love a good life lesson!) it validates the important lesson that self improvement and development don’t follow a perfect road map to success. There are twists and turns and ups and downs. The key here is to learn to navigate them.
If you’ve entered February feeling like you fell off your resolutions, or kicking yourself because you never set on in the first place, or simply feel a little lost, now is the perfect time for a little check in.
*Throughout today’s post I’ll use “resolution” and “goal” interchangeably
What went wrong?
Feeling like you failed on a goal can often leave you staggering around, doing everything you can to mend your ego and avoid another gut punch from the universe. In reality, these failures are great for growth, and more often than not, leave you with some amazing tools you can quickly and easily apply to better accomplish your future goals.
This is the time to reflect on what went wrong. I often hear things like:
· I set a resolution I wasn’t all that invested in to start with.
· My goal sounded good, but I didn’t have a hot clue how to actually accomplish it!
· I didn’t have the time to really to dive into it.
· I have a very bad habit of talking myself out of things.
· My friend and I were going to go for it together, but she dropped off so I didn’t see the point in continuing.
All of these reflections explain deeper, underlying reasons for your failure. I’ll take the last point for example. Perhaps in this scenario, the goal wasn’t the outcome of accomplishing the resolution at all, but in spending valued time with the friend. When you see it that way, it completely changes the goal and the desired outcome.
Regardless, whether you didn’t think your goal out properly, didn’t realize the commitment required (mental, physical, or time), didn’t put together a proper plan, or let your own negative self talk take over, these feelings of failure are actually growth points. A chance to grow is definitely not a failure, even if it feels like one in the moment.
In this reflection stage, be honest with yourself. Remember failure is only a negative if you let it be one. You can also choose to view it as a masterclass in success. Every failure or missed opportunity is highlighted with tips you can take with you to apply in the future to find greater success.
Where to now?
Okay, so you failed in your goal and it sucked. Does that mean you’ll never set a goal again? No! Not at all. You have the power to come out so much stronger now!
After you’ve given yourself time to reflect on what went wrong, you can move a head to finding a new and refreshed starting point. This is time for you to take some moments of grace, reflection, and to do a little personal assessment. Whether you take a week or a month in this phase, this is a new opportunity to connect with yourself and your inner most desires. You need to give yourself the time you need to do so.
When setting resolutions for the New Year, there is often pressure to come up with something, anything, to show you’re ready to make the coming New Year the best year ever! This often results in rushed or less meaningful goal setting.
With the clamor of the New Year quietly in the rear-view, there is no pressure to set a goal now. No pressing time limit to announce it on January 1st. No one asking if you made a resolution. No social media posts or marketing ads pressuring you to do this or that for your resolution. Now you have time to really set a valuable, well thought out goal.
Look within and start assessing your current situation – if you journal, this is a great journaling exercise. Examine some of the following:
· What brings joy in your life?
· What do you feel is missing in your life?
· How is your current health?
· How hectic is your current schedule? What can you fit in or take out?
· If time/money/circumstance were no issue, what would you have on your weekly schedule just for you?
· If time/money/circumstance were no issue, what would your perfect workday look like?
· What currently brings you the most value in your life?
· What can you add to your life to add more value?
This isn't stage isn't about setting a new goal just yet. It's about assessing your current state to create a fresh canvas for your new goals. Though this self assessment, you'll gain a better understanding of what you need or want, and what you don’t. You’ll get a clearer picture of what type of mental capacity you have for a new goal, and how much time you can devote to it (or where you can make room if necessary).
How to start again?
Once you’ve reflected and refreshed, assessed where you’re at in your current state, and feel ready to move forward on your new or revised goal, the most important thing to remember is: There is not right or wrong time in the calendar to start a goal and there is no shame in hitting reset on a goal or revising an old one.
You can restart on a random Tuesday in June if that works for you. Sure, it won’t be touted as a grand New Years Resolution, but it doesn’t need to be. It’s your own grand goal and that is what matters most.
Here is where you can begin to make a proper plan (SMART goals), allot time in your schedule to devote to it, and focus on it with a fresh new mindset.
Finding New Inspiration
This may all sound well and good – if you have a new goal in mind. But what if you’re still feeling a little lost or unsure of what you are hoping to accomplish next? If this is you, sign up for my free 30 Days of Inspiration Challenge from February 19-March 20, 2023.
Shift your mindset and open yourself up to a world of opportunity and abundance, by finding inspiration within yourself in just 5-10 minutes each day.
The only commitment you need is the one you make to yourself. Throughout the challenge, you’ll receive a little tid-bit each day right to your inbox: a short 5-10 minute activity, audio clip, or a video that you can use to help you find balance and inspiration in the most important place: right inside of you! There is no pass or fail – only the beautiful outcome you create for yourself.